Sunday, March 11, 2012

5k: A letter to Sprout

Dear Sprout,
This morning your dad and I did a 5k (that's 3.1 miles, but you don't know that because you're a fetus) on the beach. I mostly walked, because every time I tried to run for more than 5 minutes my belly (ie:you) bounced around pretty awkwardly and it made my lower back hurt. You're getting pretty big, and that's good. Just don't be a monster baby, okay? Thanks.
I did the whole thing in a little under 40 minutes, which isn't terrible considering that I was mostly speed walking. I must have looked like a goof.
I hope that keeping up a healthy lifestyle inspires you to live the same way.
Your dad and I don't really get to spend much quality time together during the week because of our work schedules, so it was really nice to get out early, head to the beach, and watch the sun come up while getting some exercise. I think we're going to start doing a 5k every Sunday, or at least the ones that your dad is off work at the base.
You're going to be here soon. Your crib is all put together and your dad finished the floors in your room. It's coming along really well and I love the way it looks. I think you will too.
We're both so excited to meet you. 
To be honest, the other day I was freaking out a little, just thinking about how different everything is going to be. It made me feel bad that I was worried. I worry an awful lot. I worry about you, because my health isn't the best right now. I'm doing my best to take care of myself, but things like Lupus and that tumor on my ovary aren't things that I can fix. I worry that I won't be a good mom, or that I'll get too stressed out and depressed for some reason. I hope I'm the kind of mom that you deserve, and that I'm the kind of mom that your father deserves for his first child. It sometimes feels like a lot of pressure, but I think it's just in my head. I know that once you're here I won't be able to do anything but love you and do the best that I can. I know that there isn't a "perfect mom" standard.
As you get older you'll notice that I'm really good at psyching myself out.

2 comments:

B Cooley said...

You will be the PERFECT mom for sprout. DOI! :) Your love is all he can ask and more! You will make him delicious food and his future wife will never be able to measure up and that is exactly your job :) You will provide a clean and loving environment and plenty of ways for him to grow and learn. He will have THE MOST random library of facts ever... and will probably be able to win jeopardy... :) He will be so blessed to be a Robson-Powell!

♥N.Marie Powell said...

I love you. =)