My delivery story (one slightly graphic photo, you were warned.)

I've been hesitant about writing this as I think it will be long, but here goes.

As you all know, Liam's birth was scheduled for 8 am, Thursday, April 19th. 

That morning we had to be there at 5, and we overslept (didn't hear the alarm?) until about 4:15, and the hospital is about 40 minutes from our house. We rushed to get ready, Ricky went a tad over the speed limit, and we made it there at 5:08.

Stressful, yes, but not so bad. What are they going to do, send me home for being tardy?

Anyway, after waiting about 45 minutes in surgery pre-op, I finally went back and got all prepped and ready. Gown, IV, blood draws, etc. 

Then more waiting. 

Then a nurse said to Ricky, "She's going to be under general anesthesia for the birth and the mass removal, so you don't need to wear scrubs, you can't be in there."

Umm.... no.

Thankfully Dr. Medlock (my delivering doctor) was there for that part, and told her that I was not in fact going under, and that yes, Ricky was going to be in the room for the birth.

She got all 'tudey. Whatever.

 So Ricky got his "bunny suit."

And I was super ready to go. Also terrified. That's two thumbs up, by the way, if you didn't notice. No makeup allowed on operation day. So lame.

Then I got rolled all through the labyrinth of the hospital to the main OR, where they put in my epidural. Ricky couldn't be in there for that part, only right before Liam came out, and I'm glad because I cried like a punk. I had a good reason though. It turns out you're not supposed to feel the epidural get threaded into your back. It turns out that the numbing medicine they give you is supposed to make you, well, numb.

Yeah, not so much. Apparently my body is super resilient to pain medication of all kinds. Sort of like a less useful Wolverine.

So, once he figured out that I was in serious pain, the anesthesiologist asks, "Oh, can you feel this?" to which I replied, "Are you serious, am I not supposed to?" 

"No, I'm sorry."

Awesome.

He went ahead and finished it, no use stopping now.

After it was in, they started pumping in drugs.

They leaned my bed back so I was head down. I freaked out because I felt pressure in my chest, which I understand is normal? Whatever, it was scary.

I asked the nurse, "Is my heart rate even elevated? I feel like my heart is racing."
She told me that it wasn't, it was normal, to which I responded, "So I'm just freaking out? I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be such a baby."

Then my lower right side went numb.

Just my lower right side.

My left side was wide awake and feeling all of their sharp little test pokes.

"Can you feel that?" 

"Yes."

-More drugs.

"How about now?"

"Yes, I'm sorry."

-More drugs.

"Does this still feel the same?"

"It sure does."

-More drugs.

After doing this a few times, they stopped for a bit.

Ricky told me later that they pulled him aside (he was in the room at this point) and told him that I wasn't responding right to the epidural/spinal block, and that they were going to have to put me under and he was going to have to leave.

Sad face. I'm glad I didn't hear any of that.

He told them that this happens every time I have surgery. He told them that he wasn't just saying it to get them to put more drugs in me so that he could stay in the room. He said just to give it a few more minutes and see if it takes.

They gave me 5 more minutes. Right before my left side went completely numb, they were poking me, and I could still feel it a little. It wasn't super strong, just slightly sharp. I said, "If this is as bad as it's going to feel, I can handle this." 

(here I am, right before they started)

Ricky says Dr. Medlock looked up at him with a confused look on his face, and Ricky nodded.
I heard Dr. Medlock say, "Okay, let's do this."

Right about them my left side went totally numb. Thank goodness. 

The rest is all sort of a blur. I could feel all the pressure and moving, just no pain. An odd sensation that fellow epidural recipients can understand. I couldn't see anything, but Ricky was standing next to my left side and watching it all.

When they took Liam out it felt like I was being pulled into two pieces, just not painful.

I guess in a sense I was.

I looked up at Ricky after they'd pulled him out and said, "That was weird."

He said, "That was him."

Then I heard him crying. I can't explain how that part felt.

 There's Liam Everett Powell, making his grand entrance.

They had put so much extra medication in me that my hands were shaking uncontrollably and had to be tied down, so when they brought him over I couldn't hold him. They put his face next to mine, and I kissed his cheek and smelled his head, and said, "Hi."

That's all I could think to say.

 So tiny.

They took Liam to the nursery, and Ricky had to leave too.

There they are, waiting while a nurse got some things for Liam.

Then Dr. DeCesare, my oncologist, started the mass removal on my left ovary. I was really tired and was in and out of sleep when they were doing everything, but I remember hearing the pathology report announced over a little speaker. "Mass is benign."

What beautiful words.

Once everything was done, I was taken to my room where I had to wait to see Liam.

He was having some respiratory issues. His blood sugar was low, and his breathing was too fast and that kept him from swallowing, so they couldn't feed him. They had to give him a feeding tube, which he accepted after a few tries.

It was the longest, scariest 12.5 hours of my life. I just wanted to hold my son.

I tried to sleep to pass the time, but I couldn't, even though I was exhausted. I wanted to get out of bed to go see him in the nursery, but my legs were numb and I was still cathetered and hooked up to machines for medications and fluids. I was so sad and anxious. Ricky was able to see him in the nursery and brought back pictures, but those only made me more sad.

I hated knowing that he was just down the hall.

After 12.5 hours they brought him in to our room. I can't explain how that part felt, either.

We all went home together after three days.
Never in my life have I loved something this much.