Carrying you

Sprout, I only get to have you living inside of me for 18 more days. I think I'm going to miss it. I like feeling you move around, kick me, and do what I can only assume are hip hop dance routines in there. I love it. I like knowing that you're growing in there, and that you're safe in there. Once you come out at the hospital I'm going to be worried. You're going to be so small, and everything here is so big. Even to me sometimes. I can't imagine how it will seem to you. I promise to hold you a lot. Your dad will, too.

I'm sorry that you have to come out early. If I could keep you in for as long as you need to be, I would. 

But they won't let me. I understand why, but it still makes me sad. I want you to have the best start possible, and now I feel like that's not up to me. 

Anyway.

Being pregnant with you has been awesome. I never had morning sickness after I stopped taking prenatal vitamins (a total crock, if you ask me), I didn't have mood swings, back aches, swollen feet, weird food cravings... any of that. I've felt great the whole time. I've only gained 17 pounds with you, which I'm happy with. I kept active and kept eating well, which I think is important and some people forget to do that. I don't know where I would have ended up if I were able to go to full term, but I like where I am now. 

I hope you're not so small that you have to stay in the NICU for a long time. 

I hope I don't have to stay in the hospital for a long time, either.

I just want us both to be okay and for us all to be able to go home as soon as possible.
I think you'll like your room, as much as a baby can like a room. I like it. I hang out in there all the time. I can't wait until you're in there.