Never in my life have I felt this much love, compassion, joy, and fear all at the same time. This one, tiny person fills my whole life up with light. I count down the hours at work until I can pick him up and cuddle and kiss him. I love watching him sleep, play, eat, babble, roll around on the floor... everything. He's amazing and hilarious and beautiful.
I find myself getting very anxious about his life. I feel like I can't mess up (though I know I will and it's going to be totally fine) or else he'll hate me or not reach his full potential. The feeling of personal responsibility is almost overwhelming. I'm sure this is a part of being a new (maybe not even new?) parent.
I want to do as right by him as I possibly can. I want to make sure that he always knows how much his father and I love him and support him, and that he is never, ever alone. Even when we can't be there for him. And those times will come, I know.
He's already so big. He has a tooth!
A tooth? A TOOTH?! Are you serious? I cried, it's the end of the "giant toothless grin" phase. I wish I could slow down time, or go back and relive days that I already miss so much. Where is my 4 lb 8 oz newborn? When did he become a sitting up, tooth-growing, assisted standing, puree-eating, 2x a day pooping, bath time loving, ma-ga-ba-da babbling little dude?
I look forward to it, really, I do. I look forward to teaching him about the world. About nature, and science, and great men and women, and the stars... I can't wait to watch him explore, find treasures, and climb trees. I can't wait to answer his questions, or have us find the answer together. I can't wait until he really understands what I'm reading to him, and for him to read me the same little book 30 times over because I really will sit and listen to it that many times.
Time flies by, and I'm so thankful every day that I have such a beautiful, sweet little life in my care.
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