"GOOD" Moms

According to this lovely handmade sign, I'm not a "good" mother.

My floors are clean. My laundry is done (in detergent that I made myself and with homemade fabric softener.) My kitchen is tidy.

I'd go so far as to say that these things are always true.
Why? Because having a neat and clean home is important to me.

Before anyone has a conniption fit, let me say that I'm in no way implying that if your home is unkempt, or if you let laundry pile up, or if you have NEVER cleaned your oven, that you aren't a good mother. Parent. Guardian. Whatever.

What I am saying is that I think it is absolutely absurd to try to make yourself feel better about a lifestyle that you needn't even be ashamed of at the expense of someone else, and that is the way I take this sign.

Good moms have clean homes.

Good moms have messy homes.

Good moms fold towels.

Good moms have piles for clean and piles for dirty.

I've heard it implied in other ways. For example: A very fit mother of three has a picture of herself, showing off her killer physique, and people say things like, "Well, I don't look that way because I actually spend TIME with my children."

"Yeah, I bet she has a nanny raising those kids."

I also enjoy such statements as, "I'm too busy playing with my kid to worry about cleaning house."

No.

No no no no.

You don't look that way, or clean your home, or fold the damn towels for the simple fact that it isn't a priority for you.

And that is okay.

And the opposite is okay.

Why is there such a need for validation? And why does it always seem to come at a very catty cost?

Can we please, while we're on the subject, stop lumping "mothering" and "housekeeping" into the same category, by the way?

Being a mother is important, as is keeping your home clean. You can do one or both of these things.

And that is okay.

I play with my son. We do arts and crafts and go to the park and the zoo and the aquarium and we play with toys that make sounds that make me want to have a seizure. I involve him in making cookies and snacks. I take him outside every day that the weather allows. We play for a wee bit too long in the bath tub.

And my floors aren't sticky. And my kitchen is clean. And my laundry is done.

I make the the time to do these things, because they're important to me.

And that is okay.

And maybe they aren't to everyone. 

And that is okay.

Being a good mother makes you a good mother. That's it.